|
|
|
Newsletters>
Your Mind is Not Your Friend
July 1, 2006
Your Mind is Not Your Friend
What an interesting concept. Do you wonder what it means
and why it’s the heading of a newsletter?
I heard the phrase recently and thought it was a perfect
topic to discuss. The meaning I took from it is that
everything I think is the result of a decision I made and a
belief I have created. Many beliefs are not only not
true, but are also often limiting and keep me stuck in a
familiar and very small world.
Think about looking at a beautiful china plate. One side
is covered in a pretty flower design in green and fuchsia.
If you hold the plate in front of your eyes and ask me to
tell you what colour it is, I will say it’s white. I can’t
see the flowers and the side facing me is completely white.
The side facing you is green and fuchsia. To you the
plate is colourful.
We are both looking at the same plate, but our perspective
is completely different and thus we are each seeing only
one aspect of the two possibilities.
Our beliefs are the same. Any decision we make about what
an experience means about us or to us, is based on the
perspective we hold, the possibilities we can think about
what happened, and the meaning it may have. However, the
fact is we could have made a completely different
decision and thus had a different belief as a result.
Once we have adopted that belief however, we think it is
the truth and it becomes how we see and interpret the
world. It becomes a lens through which we view our world
and it will always be validated by our experiences because
we draw to us that which we believe.
One of my clients had a belief that she couldn’t handle
money. Nora* had over-spent on credit cards and had no
savings. Any money that came to her, she quickly spent on
present needs and desires. She realized that she had to
make a change if she wanted to live without the stress of
too much debt.
Nora’s first step was to identify the limiting belief that
she was a poor money manager. In coaching we asked the
question, “If she were to handle her money successfully,
what would she have to believe?” Her new belief was “I am
a wise investor and manager of my money”.
Next, she implemented the jars system she had learned about
through Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker,
and started with $100.00 a month divided into the six jars.
After six months, Nora was in a completely different money
situation and her belief that she was a wise investor and
manager of her money was the truth of her new reality.
Another client’s belief that she wasn’t good enough had
affected her life in many ways. Pam wasn’t able to move up
in her career because she always thought that she wasn’t
good enough to handle greater responsibilities. The people
she worked with saw a very competent employee and often
recommended her for promotions, but the few she took caused
her so much internal stress because of her belief, she
eventually asked to go back to her previous position.
When I was two years old, I had a temper tantrum. Some
enlightened being had told my mother the best thing to do
for a temper tantrum was to throw a glass of water in the
child’s face, so that’s what she did.
Yes, I did stop screaming, however, in my two year old mind
I decided that it wasn’t safe to express my angry feelings.
Other childhood incidents reinforced that belief and in
time I found it impossible to express my angry feelings.
As an adult, however, that same belief interfered with my
ability to be in healthy relationships with others because
I wouldn’t speak up if I was angry. What I would do was
express it non-verbally and in passive-aggressive ways.
The other person would always know I was feeling something,
but they wouldn’t hear it from me.
As you can imagine, that caused a great deal of problems in
my close relationships until I discovered what belief I had
and changed it to one that allowed me a full, appropriate
expression of feelings.
I recommend that you take a close look at some of the
things in your life that you would like to be different and
ask yourself “What would I have to believe to have the
results I want?”
Your mind wants to hold on to the familiar and keep you
safe. That’s its job. Thank it for taking care of you and
let go of the limiting belief. If you hear an internal
voice that tells you can’t do something or you are
something small or incapable, thank your mind for sharing
and keep on affirming the new belief and taking actions to
create the results you desire.
Take control of your mind and use it to create the life of
your dreams.
(*All names have been changed to respect confidentiality.)
For more information on developing a Millionaire Mind, go
to http://www.MillionaireMind.com
About the Author:
Rosemary Heenan is a Certified Integrative Coach
Professional. Her specialty is coaching successful,
professional, mid-life women who desire to be fulfilled and
live balanced lives. Rosemary has been a college professor
of early childhood education for 30 years.
Her ebook, Attract a Loving Relationship is available for
purchase at http://www.rosemaryheenan.com
If you were forwarded this by a friend, get your own copy
by signing up on the Newsletter page at
http://www.rosemaryheenan.com
Email rheenan@mnsi.net
NOTE: You’re welcome to reprint this article online as long
as it remains complete and unaltered (including the “about
the author” info at the end)
|
|
