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Your Mind is Not Your Friend

July 1, 2006

Your Mind is Not Your Friend 
 
What an interesting concept. Do you wonder what it means 
and why it’s the heading of a newsletter? 
 
I heard the phrase recently and thought it was a perfect 
topic to discuss. The meaning I took from it is that 
everything I think is the result of a decision I made and a 
belief I have created. Many beliefs are not only not 
true, but are also often limiting and keep me stuck in a 
familiar and very small world. 
 
Think about looking at a beautiful china plate. One side 
is covered in a pretty flower design in green and fuchsia.  
If you hold the plate in front of your eyes and ask me to 
tell you what colour it is, I will say it’s white. I can’t 
see the flowers and the side facing me is completely white. 
The side facing you is green and fuchsia. To you the 
plate is colourful. 
 
We are both looking at the same plate, but our perspective 
is completely different and thus we are each seeing only 
one aspect of the two possibilities.  
 
Our beliefs are the same. Any decision we make about what 
an experience means about us or to us, is based on the 
perspective we hold, the possibilities we can think about 
what happened, and the meaning it may have. However, the 
fact is we could have made a completely different 
decision and thus had a different belief as a result. 
 
Once we have adopted that belief however, we think it is 
the truth and it becomes how we see and interpret the 
world. It becomes a lens through which we view our world 
and it will always be validated by our experiences because 
we draw to us that which we believe. 
 
One of my clients had a belief that she couldn’t handle 
money. Nora* had over-spent on credit cards and had no 
savings. Any money that came to her, she quickly spent on 
present needs and desires. She realized that she had to 
make a change if she wanted to live without the stress of 
too much debt. 
 
Nora’s first step was to identify the limiting belief that 
she was a poor money manager. In coaching we asked the 
question, “If she were to handle her money successfully, 
what would she have to believe?” Her new belief was “I am 
a wise investor and manager of my money”.  
 
Next, she implemented the jars system she had learned about 
through Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker, 
and started with $100.00 a month divided into the six jars. 
After six months, Nora was in a completely different money 
situation and her belief that she was a wise investor and 
manager of her money was the truth of her new reality. 
 
Another client’s belief that she wasn’t good enough had 
affected her life in many ways. Pam wasn’t able to move up 
in her career because she always thought that she wasn’t 
good enough to handle greater responsibilities. The people 
she worked with saw a very competent employee and often 
recommended her for promotions, but the few she took caused 
her so much internal stress because of her belief, she 
eventually asked to go back to her previous position. 
 
When I was two years old, I had a temper tantrum. Some 
enlightened being had told my mother the best thing to do 
for a temper tantrum was to throw a glass of water in the 
child’s face, so that’s what she did. 
 
Yes, I did stop screaming, however, in my two year old mind 
I decided that it wasn’t safe to express my angry feelings. 
Other childhood incidents reinforced that belief and in 
time I found it impossible to express my angry feelings. 
 
As an adult, however, that same belief interfered with my 
ability to be in healthy relationships with others because 
I wouldn’t speak up if I was angry. What I would do was 
express it non-verbally and in passive-aggressive ways.  
The other person would always know I was feeling something, 
but they wouldn’t hear it from me. 
 
As you can imagine, that caused a great deal of problems in 
my close relationships until I discovered what belief I had 
and changed it to one that allowed me a full, appropriate 
expression of feelings. 
 
I recommend that you take a close look at some of the 
things in your life that you would like to be different and 
ask yourself “What would I have to believe to have the 
results I want?” 
 
Your mind wants to hold on to the familiar and keep you 
safe. That’s its job. Thank it for taking care of you and 
let go of the limiting belief. If you hear an internal 
voice that tells you can’t do something or you are 
something small or incapable, thank your mind for sharing 
and keep on affirming the new belief and taking actions to 
create the results you desire. 
 
Take control of your mind and use it to create the life of 
your dreams. 
 
(*All names have been changed to respect confidentiality.) 
 
For more information on developing a Millionaire Mind, go 
to http://www.MillionaireMind.com 
 
 
About the Author: 
Rosemary Heenan is a Certified Integrative Coach 
Professional. Her specialty is coaching successful, 
professional, mid-life women who desire to be fulfilled and 
live balanced lives. Rosemary has been a college professor 
of early childhood education for 30 years.  
 
Her ebook, Attract a Loving Relationship is available for 
purchase at http://www.rosemaryheenan.com 
 
If you were forwarded this by a friend, get your own copy 
by signing up on the Newsletter page at 
http://www.rosemaryheenan.com 
 
Email rheenan@mnsi.net 
 
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